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Sunday, 16 October 2011 19:10

Life can be stressful...

This past month has been undoubtedly the most stressful period of time that my husband and I have experienced to date in our five and a half year marriage. 

After being led on by his past employers, his job term ended and they chose not to continue his position after all.  Ack!  So he was left jobless with no notice, and spent the next month job hunting with our mortgage, car payments and all of our other bills and debt payments hovering in his consciousness.  I tried to be supportive, but I felt the need to give him advice and pointers on job hunting at every step of the way, and probably drove him completely crazy.  Every time he took a few moments to relax, I felt the need to kick him in the butt, but (usually) I suppressed this urge. 

Last week Tuesday he was interviewed by a man who we discovered knew a lot of our friends, so we were hopeful about the outcome.  Much later that evening, as we were sitting in front of the tv, snacking, as we often do in the evening (bad habits that I suppose we should break before our daughter is old enough to realize what we're doing...), he left the room and came back with a bottle of wine.  He had mentioned a couple of weeks earlier that a bottle of champagne would be his first purchase when he finally got a job and (although he decided on a Reisling afterward, since I don't actually like champagne...) here it was in front of me.  My first thought was that he must have gotten it as a gift from someone, because he had been jobless so long I must not have really expected he would get a good job, but Yay!  The guy who had interviewed him that morning had called later that afternoon to offer him the job, and he was to start on Thursday.  This was SO EXCITING!!!

After a month of stress and nervous waiting, why do I not feel happier?  I actually find myself feeling strangely subdued, and maybe even a bit depressed.  I'm the sort of person who thinks - a lot- about what is going on in my head, and I wonder if I was playing the 'supportive wife' for so long that now that he has a job I feel less needed? Or maybe it is just because we have been so tense for the month that all of the emotion has built up and now I am needing to release it.

Anyway, I know I should be completely happy and overjoyed, but I don't honestly feel that way.  Even Brian has been a bit testy, but maybe that is just because I'm acting hormonal and he's just responding to me.  Either way, what should be a great time in our home has been less than enjoyable. 

I feel like I should end this blog with a 'What I have learned from this is...', but I'm not really there yet, so I won't.  Maybe I never will be. 

Read 1515 times Last modified on Wednesday, 22 February 2012 22:13

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