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Friday, 10 August 2012 13:12

Mother Returns Adopted Son

I ran across this article about a woman who, after adopting a boy from Russia, decides that his behaviour is unmanageable and chooses to send him back to Siberia.

I find the fact that she chose to 'return' the boy, who had become her son, awful - mostly because of the attitude it represents.  I have never adopted, and I have no doubt that adoption is a difficult transition - especially in families that already have biological children.  This woman claimed that the adopted son was violent - and I can only assume that she became worried about the safety of her biological son. 

This is another situation I have never been in - what would you do if one of your children is threatening the safety of another one of your children? Certainly not send them to Siberia, although I am aware of a number of children who have been 'sent' into foster care or boarding schools by their own parents when they felt unable to handle them anymore.  I've always found this to be sad, but the general mentality isn't as rare (I don't think) as the media portrayal on this story makes it seem.

My opinion is that - yes, it is absolutely wrong of this woman to have sent a boy who was her son back to Russia, but - the outlook and attitude of any parent planning to adopt another child should be that their adopted child will become just as much a part of their family as any biological child would be.  I personally believe that this same mentality should apply to step parents also - if you are joining together a family with children of two different parents, each parent should decide that the step children are now just as much their children as their biological children are.

When my parents got married, I was 8 and my step brother was 4.  My Mom has told me repeatedly over the years that she married my Dad - but she also chose me.  She said that if she wasn't ready to accept me as her daughter, she would have had no business marrying my Dad - and I agree. 

Like I said before, I have never adopted, and I also don't have step-children so my opinion here is maybe not overly relevant. And I do understand that it could be difficult - especially in situations like this, to not 'favour' your own child - but I think that this is much like any major life decision - if you go into it with a certain goal in mind, you can choose to see things a certain way and behave accordingly.

Would this woman have sent her own unrully child on a plan to Siberia when she felt at a loss to handle him? I doubt it, but I think that is the relevant question here.

What are your thoughts and opinions on this?

Read 1277 times Last modified on Friday, 24 August 2012 09:08

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