Nurse Loves Farmer


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Thursday, 20 October 2011 09:31

Stress and Confusion...

So I've already mentioned how last month was a stressful time for my husband and I, but I didn't outline another 'thing' that was keeping things complicated because I didn't know what was going on...

A few months ago, my husband and I decided that it wouldn't be the end of the world if I became pregnant with another baby.  For a number of reasons, I would like to have my babies close together, and since we had trouble getting pregnant with Celia, I thought I should allow some time to have the same struggle again. 

So about three weeks ago (right in the middle of my husband's joblessness), I started experiencing some symptoms that I thought might be indicative of pregnancy.  I took a home pregnancy test that said nothing.  I still thought there was something going on, though, so I waited another couple of days and took another test.  My husband told me I was imagining it, but I swear that a faint (ok, REALLY faint) positive showed up on that stick.  I tested every morning for the next few days until FINALLY - a pink line that my husband agreed was there! 

I realize this was jumping the gun, but I got pretty excited - I started thinking of our family as though it already had two children and thinking about what to name this new baby.  My husband was pretty excited too. 

Two days later, I took another test that was very clearly (even to me) negative.  I know that many pregnancies end in early miscarriage (what 'they' call a 'chemical pregnancy') - and that it is only because we have such sensitive tests now that we even know about these lost pregnancies.  I was still pretty devastated.  Even two days of thinking I had another baby was enough for me to be quite attached...

But still I waited, and continued to be late.  A week later, I took another test and again - I was sure I saw another faint positive!  Thoroughly confused at this point, and still no obvious signs that I WASN'T pregnant - I went online and learned about things like cancers and ectopic pregnancies that could cause low levels of HCG... ok, I'll admit - this was one time when maybe over-educating myself was not helpful.  Two days later a test was negative... again...

I eventually ended up at my OBGYN's office, and she assured me that although she didn't know why I might be getting a faint positive on a pregnancy test - except for the first one - that I was not pregnant.  So I'm back on Serophene!  Bring on the multiples!

I am still late, and my only answer for this is because of my PCOS and the fact that I am heavier than I have ever been in the past due to the excess baby weight that I still haven't lost.  PCOS (which causes weight gain, and is also made worse by weight) causes irregular periods and infertility, so I suppose I should not have been surprised.

Anyway, wish us luck! Hopefully it will be as easy this time as it was with Celia. 

We don't really want multiples though, by the way...

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