We had leftover ham one day, and decided to make ham and eggs for breakfast.
And I could not, would not, make them without dying the eggs green.
Yup... Green Eggs and Ham...
And then I got what was probably the most joyful picture I have ever seen of my daughter...
I Do! I Like Them, Sam I Am!
Okay, so I'm a day late... I just couldn't get over how awesome our costumes were this year so I had to share them.
It's not the greatest picture, but if you take a look at Robert Munch's 'The Paper Bag Princess', I think you'll agree these costumes are pretty epic. We started with the dragon costume (store bought, but we had to start somewhere) and then did some brainstorming for some costumes that we could wear that went along with hers... this idea came from one of my piano students actually, so I can't really take credit for that but I think I did a pretty good job pulling it off. And most of it was done the day of - have I mentioned I'm awesome? Obviously I'm pretty proud of myself...
I was a bit disappointed by how many people had no idea who I was (people who are either too old for or simply not fans of Robert Munch...). I did have one drive-by recognition when a girl stuck her head out of her window and yelled 'Hey! The Paper Bag Princess!!!'.
As a Christian, I struggle with Halloween - particularly when it is used to promote some really ghoulish and demonic stuff. I also, however, enjoy dressing up and I love everything involved in creating a great costume and Halloween seems to be the only chance I get to have a really great time with 'costuming'. So, as long as my children are still young enough to allow me to trick-or-treat with them, I will dress up with them and enjoy that part of it also.
As a new Mom, I have limited to zero experience with many parenting problems that can and will come up as a child grows up. I have learned, however, that this is how all Mom's begin, and we all embark upon a journey to learn how to parent our children and continue to learn as we go.
One comment that I heard repeatedly (annoyingly) was that I was reading too much in reference to parenting my infant daughter. I did notice the excessive use of the words 'I was reading about...' or 'I just read that...' escaping my lips, which had me considering whether or not I was capable of forming my own opinions. The comments regarding my superfluous reading were suggesting that by reading about potential health problems and growth delays, I was worrying myself about things I might have been better off not knowing about. I respectfully disagree. Although this may be the case in some instances, I can look at countless times throughout my pregnancy when I experienced some sort of pain or symptom that panicked me - only to look it up online to find that many other women had experienced the same, perfectly normal, phenomenon. I have also come to realize that I read by nature - it is my primary learning style. I am unlikely to ask my mother or grandmother, or even my best friends what they think I should do in a specific situation because I recognize that my parenting (and life) priorities may differ greatly from theirs and might feel uncomfortable obligations by asking for their opinions. What I do appreciate, however, are factual and unbiased accounts of how they did things and how that turned out.
That being said, I think there are many different learning styles that depend on our personalities, as well as our communities. It is much easier to ask the advice of a close living relative or friend, than to ask the advice of parents still living in their country of origin when you have moved halfway across the world and now reside in a much different environment.
As I have already said, I am a reader, and a researcher. I will read different accounts written by different people and accept the method that makes sense to me and my world view. Some people learn by observation - in the case of parenting - they may see how children around them behave and respond in certain circumstances and take mental notes about what their parents are doing. Some people ask for the opinion of a trusted friend, family member or medical professional, and follow the advice they are given. Some parents may even trust their own instincts completely. If I were to give my completely unqualified advice, I would suggest some sort of balance of all of these methods.
I would like this site to branch all of these while assuming the position that although there are certainly 'wrong' ways to parent, most choices in regards to parent come down to parenting styles and learning methods - as well as personality types and world views. I will seek to encourage and support all legitimate styles of parenting, only questioning methods if some form of abuse is suspected. I encourage any and all readers to do the same - if you disagree with another parents views or methods, choose not to criticize or argue and to understand that there are many different accepted ways to do things - yours are not the only correct options.
I began reading a book recently called 'Connected Parenting', by Jennifer Kolari. I had never heard of 'connected parenting' before but fully expected to disagree with it entirely. I personally find myself dismissing anything that seems related to 'Attachment Parenting' (which I, admittedly, don't know very much about), and presumed that although I was interested in reading this book for scholarly reasons, I would find nothing of use to myself.
I was very wrong.
The basic point of this book (so far) is to encourage parents to empathize with their children. This may seem like common sense, but as I read on, some of the examples given by the author reminded me of some of my own frustrations in childhood. I have an excellent relationship with my father, but I was continually frustrated by his attempts to 'fix' each and every situation I found myself in. I have learned that even now I cannot tell him about a negative experience I have had, without an "It will all be ok because..." or "Next time do this differently...", etc. Now, he means well and in retrospect I realize that this is a completely natural response for me also - this is what we do. What I wanted from my Dad as a child, and still do, is for him to just LISTEN, with maybe a 'Yeah, that sucks' every so often. 'Connected Parenting' outlines exactly how to do that, and although at times her examples are a little extreme and it sometimes seems like a long-winded response to a very simple question, it may not be easy for many people to do. Particularly if, like myself, they have grown up with a very different 'norm'.
I was discussing some of the principles Kolari mentions with my husband this morning, and having decided a while ago that parenting by instinct is the best way to go, he immediately got defensive and started outlining reasons why her theories were wrong. I don't deny there may be holes in any theory - and not everything will work for all families - but I have come to a sort of agreement with myself; In the future when I pick up a book to read (and I plan to read as many as I can get my hands on, as a scholar-mom), I will assume that it will contain something valuable for me to learn. I think most of us can admit that there may have been some behaviors passed down to us through generations that may not be helping us to be the best people - or parents - that we can be, and if my reading can bring my attention to these things, I want to be ready to learn.
I came back to my husband later in the day and asked him to consider adopting a similar philosophy. I mentioned how our relationship has not been perfect - how each of us does things in ways that we think are normal and beneficial because that is how our parents treated each other, or whatever. I don't think there's a relationship out there that doesn't have some imperfections in this behavioral 'code' we all have in us, so personally, I don't see how we can assume that our instincts will be correct in all circumstances either.
Maybe that's just me.
Grab My Button
<div align="center"><a href="http://www.pinkbears.ca" title="On Pink Bears and Pacifiers"><img src="http://www.pinkbears.ca/images/grab-my-button.png" alt="On Pink Bears and Pacifiers" style="border:none;" /></a></div>
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